Soap Operas Vs. Lesbian Relationships | Lesbian Life

Lesbians love to claim they are ?no drama? but drama always seems to find lesbian relationships. Being in a lesbian relationship is like watching an episode of General Hospital. It?s draining. It?s messy. It?s painful. It?s not fun.

So, that?s what this blog is about now. I am going to give you soap opera plots and then you give actual real life lesbian bullshit? And you decide which one is more drama now?..

1. Soap Opera:??Switching Paternity Results. ?Every soap opera wants and/or doesn?t want some baby? And everyone is always trying to keep this baby?s real daddy away from the other daddy, etc. But, in the end?. The Real Daddy Wins The Game

Real Life: ?Every lesbian is in 6 degrees of separation from each other! Your ex has dated your best friend. Your best friend has fucked your last ex bitch. Her best friend fucked your cousin. Your cousin fucked your ex. The ex you had before this last ex fucked your current ex. Your current ex dated the ex of your best friend. Your other best friend dated the ex of the ex of your last ex?. etc etc.

Winner: Switching the Paternity Test seems like an easy thing to do ?compared to dealing with the Six Degrees of Lesbian Separation.?

2. Soap Opera:?Back From The Dead.?Everyone always comes back from the dead on soaps. It?s what they do when actors go on vacation. They will fake a ?death? to bring them back after their real life trip to Hawaii! Honestly, it?s pretty sweet because they usually come back as some evil character and causing tons of havoc on the town.

Real Life: An ex always comes back from the dead. This has happened to me many times. Ex bitches won?t leave you alone!! It?s like once you date a bitch she is in your life FOREVER ?popping out just in time to start some drama and ruin your new shit. Ex bitches are evil. Ex hoes never leave you alone?.

Winner: Soap Opera. At least when a Soap bitch comes back from the dead she is FIERCE and starting some cool drama. When an ex comes back it?s just draining and annoying?.?

3. Soap Opera:?Weddings Stopped At the Eleventh Hour.?Weddings never go off without drama on Soaps. The Ex and/or the current love affair always comes back to start drama and break up this wedding. ?Does anyone have a reason why these people should ?not wed?? Cue the crazy bitch that has been fucking the bride or groom on the DL to start some shit!

Real Life: Because we have gay marriage now in NYC every fucking bitch wants to get married. It?s insane! So, there are going to be a TON of gay divorces. Lesbians have the most unhealthy relationships. Just codependent bullshit. So, instead of bitches breaking up weddings on soap operas?.. Lesbians just get married and actually BREAK UP later!

Winner: Soap Opera again. Don?t get married before you are ready to do that shit for real. I am sick of bitches only dating six months and jumping down the aisle now. Getting married is serious. Not some shit to play around with ?on some random trick that you are obsessed with for a couple of months? But, whatever?. Lesbians will continue being codependent bitches and keep marrying hoes for no damn reason. Can?t stand this shit? Can?t stand lesbians?. EHHHHHHHH Soap Opera TOTALLY wins here!

4. Soap Opera.?Your Bitter Rival is Your Mother, Daughter, Sister, Son Etc.?There is always some crazy bitch in your family on soaps wanting to take your money, power, etc. They always want to control and/or just take away your shit.

Real Life: Your Bitter Rival is your EX. You may be BFFs with your ex but you are still not getting over that bitch and being so close to an ex stops you from truly growing and moving on. Plus, this blocks you from getting new pussy. OR? sometimes lesbians end so badly with a bitch that they can?t be in the same room. And this is a PROBLEM at parties/lesbian bars/lesbian outings because the gay community is small and everyone knows everyone and everyone dates everyone. So, when you end badly with an ex chances are you will see them again, again, and again. You can never be rid of them! They will pop up at every event. They will come ?back from the dead.?

Winner: Soaps again! I would much rather have some crazy sister, mom, brother trying to take my money than some ex always in front of me showing off her new looks and new bitch! It stabs my heart every time! I just can?t with that shit?..

5. Soap Opera: ?Amnesia.?I think this is my favorite soap plot because it totally fucks up their little world. PLUS, the person always gets their memory back sooner than later and they always pretend to not remember shit. It?s so shady. It?s so cool. I love it. I wish I had Amnesia so I could forget bitches and then get my memory back and still pretend I don?t know shit. It?s like getting a life clean slate. You get to do shit all over again. ?Pretend? that old drama shit didn?t happen!

Real Life: There?s no Amnesia in the lesbian world. Because its SOOO small everyone remembers your shit. Everyone won?t let you forget that one time you puked on the dancefloor and/or started a fight with your ex at the bar. All lesbians know each other so if you fuck up in the scene? You are fucked up for life. You can get a reputation VERY quickly in the scene. I had a ?rep? for a while of being a player because I used to have a different date every night of the week. And this ?rep? got me into trouble when I really started to like ?The Artist? chick because everyone was telling her I wasn?t serious and not to date me because I fucked this and that chick?.. whatever. So, when I was ready for something serious with The Artist I was shit out of luck because she listened to all the lesbians and didn?t take me seriously during our entire situation. Lesbians never forget. The scene is too small to let you forget. Flash Forward to 2012: ?I am blogger now and a facebook bitch. ?I am no longer a player not by choice. When I meet a chick? I am branded again. Lesbians are quick to be like ?oh don?t date her?. she wrote angry shit about her ex.? Seriously, I heard this at Cubby Hole once. A ?friend? warned some chick I was talking to about my blog a while ago?. ? My blog is my blog. Not who I am. Damn. Because I like to write? ?I can?t date a chick now. Geez. I?m a good person and I won?t write about someone if they don?t want me to write about them. It?s all good. I just can?t win here.

Winner: SOAPS AGAIN!

In conclusion, Soap Operas are better than real life. ?Lesbian relationships are even more dramatic and time consuming than the typical ?Days of Our Lives? episodes. Because all lesbians are fucked up they can?t be chill. They can?t just go with the flow and not be dramatic. It?s all that codependent bullshit. Relationships are the center of the lesbian world. And when relationships are the center of your world bitches?. It?s makes for an interesting ride since most relationships are unstable. This is why we aren?t as fabulous as gay men. Gay men care about making money and getting ahead in life. Lesbians only care about finding someone to love them, probably because they are insecure bitches. Probably because they didn?t have the best childhoods so they seek for relationships to heal their past wounds. ?Probably because most lesbians aren?t over their million past relationships and don?t know how to be alone. Probably because most lesbians are lower class and they don?t know how to act right in public. Probably because most lesbians are gross and when they get a hot chick they need to hold on that bitch TIGHT! I just think lesbians need to tone down the drama. And get real. And learn how to be like gay men. They need to learn how to just fuck and go and keep shit light! Stop being General Hospital and understand it?s just a relationship and not the end of the world!

Soap Operas truly win!!!

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