Love and relationships... You may have been here before: you think everything is going well. You found a person you could love for the rest of your life and are confident that when the time is right, the two of you will get together. Then you discover that you have been given the deadly "friend" card, a card that can seemingly never be changed. Your ex (or even worse, your crush who never even gave you a chance) has declared something to the effect of:
"We come from two different worlds..."
"You're like a brother to me..."
"I'm not attracted to you in that way..."
In other words, you get the big "friend" speech. This is like the "joker card" of relationships, because it's something that can't be argued or defeated, no matter what reasoning you go with. Once your ex or crush decides that he or she is not attracted to you, the point is mute. After all, how can a person be with somebody they're not attracted to?
Of course, the friendship theory doesn't hold much weight. All husbands and wives are "friends"; they are best of friends. You actually do want to be friends with the person you are dating. However, you don't want to view them as non-sexual "friends", someone you love like a sibling or a nephew. What is this dynamic that sentences so many potential relationships to death? Ask the person who is dumping you and you will probably get a very simplistic, almost insulting explanation that suggests there is just no chemistry or that this person doesn't have "it."
What this actually means is that the ex doesn't feel an attraction to the friend. The "it" he/she speaks of is a strong sexual attraction that has been created and maintained. When he/she says you don't have "it" then that means, frankly, you have never give that person a reason to feel attracted to you. There's nothing wrong with being nice and accommodating to a person. However, if that's all you have done-and you have never expressed interest in the person romantically or sexually-then all you have done is cement the fact that you are a friend. You have not challenged this person, flirted with this person, or attempted any sort of seductive technique that would make him or her think about you in a romantic way.
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P.S Just broke up? You can get your ex back! Visit this site for tips on how to save a relationship. Find out exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back!
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